A Slight Deviation

This past summer was the absolute best summer that I've ever had for so many reasons. Yet, in the midst of all of the adventures and experiences, I struggled with the ending of a relationship and other emotional tolls. My prayer throughout the summer is that I would not feel the pain. And God listened. About a week ago, I started feeling all of those postponed emotions. I don't know why God chose that time, but He did. It's ironic that I didn't want to feel anything over the summer when I had so much free time, but now I feel everything in the midst of medical school and the little life that shines through.

I have always connected with music. For some reason, various songs seem to be able to verbalize my emotions and what I am going through better than my own words.

When everything happened, "Dear God" by Hunter Hayes captured the internal struggle that I had with God. I had to trust that He knew best. I had to obey. But still, I questioned Him. I still yelled and screamed and pitched a tantrum. But I obeyed. This song captures that essence.

More recently, Hunter Hayes' song "Still" seems to echo my heart. I am afraid for the future. I want to work my tail off so that I can get a good board score. But the what-ifs and hypotheticals seem to drown out my hope nowadays. As far as personal matters, I have to trust God in the matters of my heart. He has a plan, and I am clinging to that fact some days more than others. This song reminds me to rest in my God. To trust, to obey, to believe. It is a beautiful reminder for a busy medical school student who feels overwhelmed most days.

The other songs on the album - Wild Blue, Part 1 - could have been written about my summer and the first month of the second year. It captures so many different feelings. I've gone out with my friends ("One Shot") and I've treasured all of the memories from my past relationship ("My Song Too"). The album is absolutely gorgeous. If you are a music junkie (who likes country music), you should check it out.

I hope y'all can indulge me in this slight diversion of a blog post.
Love you all. I hope you can find some songs that just echo the current cries of your heart.

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