It's the Little Things

Dear lovely girl of just sixteen May you always chase all your dreams.   Your plans and that timeline didn’t work out,   But those are not the things to fret about.   The roses came with thorns And the sky turned to storms.   But still you will prevail   And oceans, you will sail.   I wish that I could tell to you That adult you wouldn’t be blue That you would find true love by twenty-two But oh, baby girl, I won’t lie to you.   The bad heartbreaks still come. The mistakes are still dumb, But may you have your hope.   And never dull your scope.   Dear lovely girl of just sixteen, May you always chase all your dreams. Be your own hero in your life story And fight for all that your heart deems worthy.   It has been a while since I've written any poetry. I had an old friend inspire me when she mentioned how she wanted to write a song to her former self. The more I thought about the subject, the more the words flowed. I apologi

One of the things that the Lord has really been working on with me is just to be still and just spend time with Him either in prayer or His word. To be honest, I am TERRIBLE at it, which is probably why He keeps teaching me why I need His stillness and rest. Medical school is challenging on its own. You have some days of 8-5 classes along with all of the studying and assignments that you have to complete. Then add in the clubs and the organizations that you are a part of for fun and support. Next, add the volunteer opportunities that you want to complete and help out in the community. But what about social time with friends and family? If you can add it in there, great. And what about sleep? Sleep is for the weak. JK, sleep should be a priority, meaning that something else is going to be pushed until the next day. Basically, life in medical school is insane, absolutely insane. I have a bad habit of going at about 150 mph all day, every day. From the moment my alarm goes off in the

This past summer was the absolute best summer that I've ever had for so many reasons. Yet, in the midst of all of the adventures and experiences, I struggled with the ending of a relationship and other emotional tolls. My prayer throughout the summer is that I would not feel the pain. And God listened. About a week ago, I started feeling all of those postponed emotions. I don't know why God chose that time, but He did. It's ironic that I didn't want to feel anything over the summer when I had so much free time, but now I feel everything in the midst of medical school and the little life that shines through. I have always connected with music. For some reason, various songs seem to be able to verbalize my emotions and what I am going through better than my own words. When everything happened, "Dear God" by Hunter Hayes captured the internal struggle that I had with God. I had to trust that He knew best. I had to obey. But still, I questioned Him. I still ye

I am not the best at being patient in various situations. I see a goal, and I run towards it. A week ago I met someone that said the "right" things and seemed to be what my heart has recently been longing for. Instead of waiting to see if that person was in God's will for me, I jumped in fully. Oh man, sometimes when I just assume God's will for my life and slam open a possible door, I believe that God just lets me have what I think I want. He definitely did in this instance to remind me to wait on Him and be patient in this season of my life. Anyways, this guy seemed nice and great at first. He probably will be great for some other girl, but not me. I would describe the whole thing as a fling, but does talking even count? Who knows. Well, various jokes, comments, and then a whole discussion made me realize that I am DEFINITELY not ready for any kind of relationship, especially with him. I think that the final straw for me was when he made a joke out of something th

Strength. Change. Connection. Those are the three words that I saw in one of those little games that you play on Facebook or Twitter where the first three words that you see in a Wordsearch are the words that describe your current situation. Typically, I find the words, chuckle, and immediately dismiss them. This time was different. These words made me self-reflect. This past summer was one of great change in my life. I stepped out in faith to obey God. I embraced new experiences like white-water rafting and being extraverted with my friends. I made choices that have made me into a better person. One of my good friends here at medical school speaks her mind quite regularly. I love her for it as I appreciate her bluntness. She looked at me the other day and said: "You seem a lot happier now." Wow, it was a reality check for me. Again, I started thinking about and evaluating myself. I am strong, and I am changing to become a better version of myself. I am already prou

Okay, two posts in one day? I might be going insane, or I might be procrastinating the six student assignments that I have to do soon. Oh well. I have finally found it, the show that I could actually watch again and again. While I've had friends who have watched shows like Friends or How I Met Your Mother over and over again, I've never really found that show that makes me want to just watch it more than once. Well, that's changed. I've found my show. Madam Secretary. Yep, that's the one. It sounds utterly mundane to probably most of you, but I love it. The protagonist is real and so relatable. And her relationship with her husband? Oh man, THAT is the relationship that I want one day. Elizabeth and Henry (the main characters) are the spitting image of the marriage that I want to have one day if it is even possible. I could go on and on, but I'll let y'all watch how they interact. From a writer's standpoint, the characters are dynamic! They change;

Yesterday was my first exam of the semester, and it was intense. I was mentally exhausted after the exam and just wanted to stay at home and clean my apartment (something I had planned to do on Wednesday afternoon or Thursday). Oh man, do my friends know my ways. A couple of my friends and I had grabbed lunch after our exam. On the way back to school, they mentioned possibly going to the local brewery or something that night and invited me along. I politely declined, feeling like I would prefer a nice, introverted night. I got a text about 5ish last night saying that all of my friends were at an apartment and to come over there. We were all going out to eat even me. Ah, my friends just know me and know to not give me options that I can refuse haha. (Or I will.) So, the five of us crammed into a car and headed to Buffalo Wild Wings. Now, normally I hate that place almost as much as I dislike O'Charley's. I always have to search for something that sounds appetizing at both pl

Recently, I have started holding office hours for my first-year students that I am mentoring. Basically, I just make myself available at the school for two hours on two nights a week. If anyone would like help practicing, I am ready! If not, I have two hours of uninterrupted study time. Well last night, towards the end of my two hours, I got a notification on my phone that it was going to rain. I started packing up my stuff so that I could leave as soon as my time was over. I looked out the window and saw that it was pouring outside. I wish I could have been happy about the rain at that moment, but I was frustrated that I was going to have to stay longer at school. It was still raining softly when I started walking to my apartment. All of a sudden I remembered how I use to love looking up at the sky during a rainstorm. I would treasure the raindrops as they hit my face and try to catch some on my tongue. When I realized that I had lost that sense of amazement and wonder, I was a bi

It is extremely hard to believe this time a year ago I was a first-year medical student. It seems more like a lifetime ago. I had no idea what was going on or what to expect. Now, as a second-year medical student, I'm on the other side. I have the privilege of being a teaching assistant at my school to help a group of first-year students with their clinical skills. Seeing their anxieties and fears about the upcoming semester, it has made me think back to my first few months of medical school. If I could go back and give myself any advice, I would tell myself ten simple things. Trust me, I have already or will share these tips with all of my kiddos. I love them already and am cheering for their success, but I digress. 1. IT WILL BE OKAY. Medical school seems absolutely overwhelming. The instructors always talk about how the amount of material is like drinking from a fire hose. When you couple that with trying to manage friends and family back home, possible pets, and who knows w